Broken Hope, Holding faith
by Desertfyre
Summary: Tag to 5x15- Dark Side of the Moon. He let it go......but he picked it up.


Disclaimer: I do not own Sam nor Dean. Not even the adorable angel Cas.

A.N: The fastest I've ever written a fanfic. The ending of last night's episode still has me reeling to a degree. I know that they'll get out of this…..somehow, but it's the getting there that's the problem. And too, Dean practically giving up. Waaaa, Eric Kripke, you better fix this. I know you will, but seriously, you better fix this in a hurry. You are killing us here!!

Summary: Tag to 5x15- Dark Side of the Moon. He let it go….but he picked it up.

* * *

"Cas, wait", Sam called out. The angel had already disappeared.

Sam heaved a sigh and walked over to his bed. He glanced at his brother, who was staring at the amulet.

"We'll get through this", Sam said. He was surprised that his voice sounded strong. He had to be strong since it was clear that everyone else was falling apart.

Someone had to try to keep what little there was together.

"You and me", Sam stated. As Dean said before, they were a team, and as a team they would attempt will all their might to get out this.

Dean looked up at him, his eyes far away. It made Sam shudder inside as he watched Dean toy with the amulet absently. Dean had not even made an attempt to put it on yet. Sam had not forgotten what happened in heaven. It all had to be a ploy to bring his big brother down.

And that scared him.

It scared him to see his brother lose it.

And seeing that there seemed to be nothing he could do.

Dean didn't answer, he barely looked at him. Instead he slowly gathered his bags and walked to the door.

'Please, answer me', Sam begged silently. He needed to know that there existed some shred of this former big brother.

The brother that Sam knew and loved.

Sam turned; Dean stopped at the door, the amulet hanging loosely in his hand. And it hovered……

.

.

.

.

.

Over the trashcan.

A breath caught in Sam's throat as he watched the golden gleam swing loosely from Dean's fingers.

'No…..', he begged. Dean wouldn't dare. He could not be that far gone.

He couldn't. .

.

.

.

.

.

But he was.

Dean let go of the string and the resounding clank echoed deeply in Sam's heart. Sam watched as Dean barely gave it a glance as he walked outside to the car.

Sam was rooted in his spot, trying to comprehend what was happening as he stared at the trashcan.

He threw it away.

Just let it go.

Tears sprang behind Sam's eyes.

Heaven and hell wanted to tear them apart, from each other as well as from themselves.

And it seemed they were doing a good job.

Sam found himself moving, not realizing he was doing so. He scrambled to the garbage can and picked it up. Quickly he fished the amulet out of the trash. He felt he could not get it out fast enough.

As if by letting it stay in there longer, it was conceding defeat faster, and more importantly letting his family die at a faster rate than it seemed to be going.

Letting Dean die at a faster rate than he was going.

As if by letting it stay in the trash a second longer, would be admiting to giving up what family he had.

Sam would be the first to admit that he was not a perfect person.

He was not even a perfect brother.

But he would not….could not let Dean just die so easily.

Even if it was just emotionally.

They had come too far, seen too much, done too much.

Sam held the amulet in his hand, letting it rest on his palm. He glazed at it remembering the past. Remembering the seemingly simpler time. He smiled lightly through misty eyes.

If they let go of that, then evil truly wins. They may be able to destroy their bodies but they would never be able to destroy their hearts which is what truly matters. They would never be able to take away the goodness that they had in the past. However little it may have seemed to be at the time.

Sam breathed once and slowly wrapped his hand around the amulet, holding it loosely yet securely in his palm.

He would keep this. He would put it up and would not let Dean see it. Wouldn't let him know he had it.

He would save it.

He would save it for a better day.

Maybe the apocalypse would take them.

Maybe they were royally screwed.

But regardless, Sam would make sure that Dean got his heaven.

One way or another.

He would make sure that Dean remembered that the past was something worth holding onto.

That the future..... was something worth fighting for.

**Fin. **

* * *

A.N: So, here's my little spoof on the ending of the episode. This is just what came to me like an hour after the eppie aired.

More thoughts on the eppie:

I was really sad when Dean threw away the necklace. I could see the symbolism, and I know that he is slowly giving up and don't see the hope. (Sidenote: And Cas? Man, he was pulling me down. I felt so bad for him. He was so sad, so lost) I found it, interesting that Sam seemed to want to keep a simmer of hope going. I mean, someone has to keep it going and since everyone else is falling apart seems that job has fallen to Sam at the moment.

The more I kept thinking about it, but more it began to make sense, I think that this is a test of faith the reason why God is not helping at the moment. Though I wouldn't put it pass Zachariah that he was manipulating something in there.

Whoo, getting to the end of this season is gonna be hard. Kinda wished it would be over so that we can enjoy the season in full knowing what's going to happen.

Anyway, thanks for reading my story. =D


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